the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize