I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
