Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
