Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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