K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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