do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
