I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
