dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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