I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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