There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
