how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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