During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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