is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
