their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
This is the high leading the old right now
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
