I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
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This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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