i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
