you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
