Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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