exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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