he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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