And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
