This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
