we're chasing vodka with high fives
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
