The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
