the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize