there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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