Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
