I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
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