I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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