if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
