we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
