he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
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Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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