"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
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