Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
