I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.