bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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