you would pick up someone in the library
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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