Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
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were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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