so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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