eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
