She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
