dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
