he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
