My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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