Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
