turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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