i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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