The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
its liver damage thursday
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize