I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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