he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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