We're facebook friends in real life
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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