Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Randomize
