Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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