So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
