so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
