First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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