I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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