At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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